Todd Starnes: Trump Has A Big Dick

Brooklyn Bar Celebrates The Unhung

Via Gothamist:

Over 100 tiny penis lovers packed into King's County Bar in Bushwick yesterday afternoon for the third annual Smallest Penis In Brooklyn pageant, a celebration of all things micro and proud. There were considerably more women than men in the crowd for the three hour event, with many small groups of women batched together (photographer Melanie Rieders described it as "a bachelorette girls day vibe"). MC Chicken Bitches welcomed people by reminding them that this event was a celebration of all sizes (but mostly teeny tiny sizes).

Hit the link for non-work-safe photos.

Headline Of The Day

Details. (Tipped by JMG reader TJ)

UPDATE: Vice has posted a not work-safe clip.

SOUTH AFRICA: Surgeons Announce World's First Successful Penis Transplant

The Washington Post reports:

In a nine-hour surgery, a South African medical team successfully transplanted the penis of a dead donor to a young man without one. Three months later, they say, the recipient, who lost his penis because of complications from a ritual circumcision, has a totally functional sexual organ. That makes him the first successful recipient of a donated penis. To get the approval of the donor's family, doctors had to fashion a pseudo-penis for him out of abdominal skin. That way he could be buried with something resembling a penis. South Africa has a greater need for penis transplants than most of the world. Young men who are members of the Xhosa people often undergo ritual circumcision, sometimes in rural areas without proper instruments or sterilization. Complications from this practice lead to an estimated 250 penile amputations each year.

The surgical team now has nine patients awaiting donated organs.

Double-Dicked Dude Writes A Book

Last year the man who reportedly has two ten-inch fully functional penises earned global headlines after he participated in an "Ask Me Anything" thread on Reddit where he revealed having had sex with hundreds of men and women. Now he's written a book. From the Amazon description:

He was featured on the front pages of RollingStone.com, Jezebel.com and was covered by The Huffington Post. Both Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno featured him in their opening monologues. Countless news agencies around the world broke the story when he went on Reddit and did an Ask Me Anything (AMA). Ranking as the 4th most popular Reddit AMA of all time (beating out the likes of Peter Dinklage, Bill Murray, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Harrison Ford), DoubleDickDude spent 48 hours discussing his life with a genetic condition known as diphallia. Only 1 in 5.5 million males worldwide are born with two penises. However very few (if any) are born with two working, and by all accounts, attractive penises. After having managed to stay under the radar for over 20 years DoubleDickDude (or DDD for short) amassed thousands of followers on Twitter and Tumblr in a matter of hours. In fact Twitter (temporarily) suspended his account for replying to his followers too many times! For the past year he has taken to writing a more lengthy and detailed account of his life so far. Very little could be detailed during a frenzy of questions from thousands on Reddit. DDD goes from discussing his childhood, and explains how he knew he was special at an early age. His parents support grounded him in his early youth. We find out how he lost his virginity and was exposed to his peers. From there he discusses his wild streak of sexual adventures fresh out of high school. Recapping his favorite questions and answers, discussing sexuality and acceptance DDD covers the gamut.

A rather startling (and obviously not work-safe) photo is here, but you may have to be logged into Twitter to view it.

Bill Donohue's War On Christmas Penis

From the Catholic League: "Bill Donohue comments on a cross-shaped penis necklace made available for Christmas by designer Tom Ford: 'When we learned of this item, I said to the staff that I bet this guy Tom Ford is a homosexual. I was right. He even thinks he’s married.'"

On Germany's Penis Enlargement Industry

Clip recap:

Germany seems to be the penis enlargement capital of the world with about 20% of all enlargement surgeries occurring there. Many men are lured into surgery by the promise of a better sex life, but is the procedure to good to be true? We spoke to a former patient who said that while the surgery increased his size by about 1 or 2 centimeters, but it also took weeks to recover and left him looking deformed. We also met with a upcoming patient who seemed to be getting cold feet after hearing about the mixed results.

Probably not safe for the office. Bottom line: Don't do this.

Kegel Exercises With An Assist

Last week I got pitched to promote glow-in-the-dark underwear with a padded bottom. Oy. Today I got pitched on this possibly more useful product:

The Private Gym, LLC announced today the release of its groundbreaking, innovative fitness program, Private Gym, the first FDA approved exercise program that strengthens the muscles supporting and controlling the penis. In less than 10 minutes a day, three days a week, men can experience more rigid erections, reduce premature ejaculations and heighten orgasms, as well as support prostate health. Private Gym promises to boost a man’s sexual performance as well as help prevent the onset of erectile dysfunction. The rationale behind Private Gym is simple and well established: work out a muscle and it gets stronger. These are the same well-known exercises performed by millions of women to increase pelvic tone, particularly after childbirth.

This is how it's described on Amazon, where the kit sells for $100.

The Complete Training Program starts with four weeks of Basic Training, which guides the user through a series of pelvic muscle exercises specifically designed to create initial pelvic muscle strength. Once Basic Training is complete, the program incorporates an additional four weeks of resistance training and the Private Gym's patented, FDA registered weighted penis ring and magnetic weight. The weighted ring is placed comfortably around the erect penis and lifted up and down, thereby placing just the right amount of resistance to maximize pelvic muscle growth and strength.

You lazy slob, get off that couch and exercise your penis! And for inspiration, there's a super very extremely not-even-remotely office-safe instructional video featuring porn stars Johnny Hazzard and Austin Wilde. This product makes me wonder if there's also a butt version of the Thighmaster.

Scientists To Test Lab-Grown Penises

Via the Guardian:

Penises grown in laboratories could soon be tested on men by scientists developing technology to help people with congenital abnormalities, or who have undergone surgery for aggressive cancer or suffered traumatic injury. Researchers at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, are assessing engineered penises for safety, function and durability. They hope to receive approval from the US Food and Drug Administration and to move to human testing within five years. Professor Anthony Atala, director of the institute, oversaw the team's successful engineering of penises for rabbits in 2008. "The rabbit studies were very encouraging," he said, "but to get approval for humans we need all the safety and quality assurance data, we need to show that the materials aren't toxic, and we have to spell out the manufacturing process, step by step." The penises would be grown using a patient's own cells to avoid the high risk of immunological rejection after organ transplantation from another individual. Cells taken from the remainder of the patient's penis would be grown in culture for four to six weeks.

Headline Of The Day

Whoa.

Viral Video Of The Day

1.3M views in the first day.

Headline Of The Day

Details.

Headline Of The Day

Details.

Jon Hamm: Stop Talking About My Penis

"Would you want people walking up to you and pointing at your dick? I can't believe I'm still talking about this. But I've worn underwear every day of my life and the fact that I'm painted as this exhibitionist is a little annoying. It's become a meme, I guess. Being someone who people want to photograph, you have to open yourself up to the positive and negative. It is what it is. If I get mad at it I'll look like a douchebag. But it's silly." - Jon Hamm, speaking to Men's Fitness. (Tipped by JMG reader Alan)

"Intactivists" Protest At White House

Teabaggers mocked the protest on Twitter with "No Blood For Mohel!" I confess, I snickered.

Fox TV Apology Of The Day

Deadspin has the apology:

While reporting breaking news about the crash of the KOMO-TV helicopter in Seattle, FOX31 Denver accidentally broadcast an offensive photo while scrolling live through a Twitter feed of pictures from the crash scene. The photo was mistakenly broadcast by our control room. It did not come from the tablet many viewers saw being used by one of our anchors. We apologize for the inadvertent broadcast of the image and we are taking immediate steps to prevent such an accident from happening again.

Bolding is mine because apparently viewers thought the anchor himself had been looking at the image, which was, in fact, a big ol' dick.

The 2014 Ford Canyonero

Source. (Tipped by JMG reader Jeff)

Caption This

(Via JMG reader David)

Can A Penis Unlock An iPhone?

If it can be done with a cat's paw and with a human nipple, why not see if it works with a penis? According to Manhunt, it does. All the usual "hey, this link might get you fired" warnings apply. Especially for the video. And the animated gif.

TRAILER: Unhung Hero

A "cockumentary" that asks, "Does size matter?" Including an appearance by Dan Savage.

(Tipped by JMG reader TeeJay)