SNL Takes On Scientology

Have you seen Going Clear?

FLORIDA: AG Pam Bondi Turns To Scientologists For Campaign Funding

Via Raw Story:

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi is running for re-election this year, and she’s looking for help in an unusual place — the Church of Scientology. Bondi is a Republican and former prosecutor who was endorsed by Sarah Palin when she ran for election and won in 2010. Most recently, she’s been in the news for announcing that she would be vigorously defending Florida’s ban on gay marriage in the federal courts. And on Tuesday evening, she’s having a campaign fundraiser at the home of Michael and Liz Baybak, wealthy longtime Scientologists who are known for donating large sums to the church and also for making donations to political campaigns. The event is being organized by Brett Miller, another longtime church member, as well as three other Scientologists, and attendance requires a donation of at least $1,000 per person.

RELATED: Last week Bondi filed motions to intervene in two marriage equality cases currently before state courts. Neither of the county clerks named as defendants are "aggressively defending" against the suits. Arguments in the Miami-Dade County case are being heard tomorrow.

There Was A Scientology Super Bowl Ad

It only ran in a few markets, including NYC and DC.

Church Of Scientology Dedicates Massive "Superpowers" Headquarters In Florida

After 15 years of construction, the Church of Scientology has dedicated a massive new headquarters building in St. Petersburg, Florida. The upper floors of the building will be devoted to unleashing the dozens of superpowers that we all apparently possess.

“Super Power,” first unveiled by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, is one's ability to hone in on 57 senses called "perceptics." The original five senses — sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch — were found not enough. The Flag Building, nicknamed the "Super Power" building, will specifically feature exclusive programs on expanding one’s “perceptics.” Among its generally secretive program's features is an antigravity simulator, various exercise machines, and a gyroscope-like apparatus that spins blindfolded riders around, a scientologist previously told the Tampa Bay Times after attending similar courses in Los Angeles. The spinning contraption is said to improve perception of compass direction, one of the 57 "perceptics." Some of the other "perceptics" the programs aim to help members master are personal size, blood circulation, fields/magnetic, sound direction, emotional state of groups, and perception of conclusions (past and present).

One of those 57 superpowers has got to be creating an illusion of heterosexuality.

Apology Of The Day

From the London Sun.

Talkin' About TomKat

France Declares Scientology A Scam

Now if we could only get this kind of ruling here.

A French court has slapped a fraud sentence on the Church of Scientology, saying it targets vulnerable people for commercial gain. The ruling is a major setback for Scientologists in France, and it marks the first time here that the Church of Scientology has been convicted of organized fraud. The development puts its famous recruitment methods under a spotlight. Scientologists vehemently reject the conviction, saying that they are the victims of anti-cult organizations trying to destroy them. “Respect my religion,” chanted several dozen Scientologists, braving sub-zero temperatures in the front of a courthouse in Paris.

But really, France. How different are alien spaceships and soul volcanoes from water-walking zombies and talking shrubberies?

Scientology Sells Itself With Rap

If you wanna be a clear gangsta, you bitches and hoes gots to get audited.

A Message From Xenu

From an outfit of nutters than believe psychiatry is the "worst invention in human history," this ad sure makes them seem not-so-crazy. Very, very slick.

FBI Investigating Scientology For Abuses

I spent a long time last night reading a lengthy expose of the Church Of Scientology in the latest issue of The New Yorker. There's far too much there to effectively excerpt here (including a bit about the cult's stance on gay rights), but do check it out when you get the time. Below Matt Lauer talks to the story's author, Lawrence Wright, who alleges that the FBI is underway with the secret investigation.

Golden Globes 2011: Host Ricky Gervais Mocks John Travolta's Closet

Scientologists Want An Institute Of Crazy In Your Neighborhood

The Church Of Scientology wants contributions to put an "Ideal Org" (i.e. church) in your neighborhood. What you do mean you don't want to be "clear"? Stormtroopers heard in distance.

RELATED: I've developed a habit of teasing the Scientologists that infest the Times Square subway station. Try it. It's fun. They really don't like it.

Cruise + Travolta: Scientology Stars To Remake Homoerotic Cowboy Classic

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, the classic 1969 western often cited for its homoerotic undertones, is going to be remade by the two Hollywood stars most frequently rumored to be gay. Add Scientology into the mix and you get....huh?

Tom Cruise will reportedly team up with pal John Travolta in a remake of the 1960s western Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The surrogate father of Scientology plans to produce the remake through his United Artists Studio and is currently in talks with scriptwriters, a new report claims. A source tells The Daily Mirror: “Butch and Sundance is a labor of love for Tom. He was eight years old when he saw the original and it made an impression that has stayed with him all his life. He can’t wait to get to work.” Tom hopes to revive the role of Sundance–played by Robert Redford in the original film–while 55-year-old John is expected to play Cassidy. The 46-year-old star even got the blessing of Paul Newman – who originally played the role of Cassidy in the film about a pair of lovable bank robbers–before he died of lung cancer last September, tattles tell the tab.

I wonder if they'll re-do the scene where Butch and Sundance ride the same horse all day.

John Travolta's Son Dies

John Travolta's 16 year old son, Jett, died today after hitting his head during a seizure in the bathroom of the family's hotel room in the Bahamas. Jett, the son of Travolta and his actress wife Kelly Preston had a long history of seizures. For years, the couple has faced accusations that they were not treating or acknowledging Jett's obvious autism due to their belief in Scientology. From 2007:

Travolta has either pretended there is nothing wrong with Jett, 15, or claimed his condition is Kawasaki syndrome, a disease characterized by high fever, skin rash and swelling of the lymph nodes. But parents of autistic children say that Travolta should join Sylvester Stallone, Doug Flutie, Jenny McCarthy and Toni Braxton, who all have autistic kids, in raising awareness and research funds to cure the disease.

One magazine editor who has interviewed Travolta more than once says that the star's son is disabled - and yet he continues to behave as if nothing is wrong. "Travolta sits there in interviews talking about how Jett loves to read or play sports, but it is clear that the boy can barely do either," the editor said. Tim Kenny, the father of a 4-year-old autistic girl from Ocala, Fla., near the Travolta estate, told Mark Ebner of HollywoodInterrupted.com that he introduced the actor in February at a restaurant he manages "as one autistic child's father to another" but that Travolta was in denial. "Scientology is keeping him from acknowledging his son's autism. They see it as a weakness," Kenny told Ebner.

According to the Church of Scientology, people with mental illnesses are "degraded" and capable of curing themselves by working harder on the church's teachings. "It's fine with me if Travolta doesn't want to become the poster child for autistic parents, but every time the parent of an autistic child hears about someone else who is in this fight, it makes them feel better," said the editor who interviewed him.

Sad, sad story. Should the kid have been on anti-seizure medication? Was he?

UPDATE: JMG reader Jon sends us tonight's Larry King clip on Jett Travolta's death.

UPDATE II: An ER physician writes Andrew Sullivan to express his suspicions regarding the account of the incident.

Afternoon View - L. Ron Hubbard House

One block from my hotel on Dupont Circle, I came across the L. Ron Hubbard House, ground zero for local crazy. I thought about ringing the bell and asking for Xenu, but there were two MIB-looking guys in the driveway.

Anonymous Takes On Scientology at Toronto Pride

I got an email from anti-Scientology group Anonymous hipping me to the above clip which combines information about Scientology's anti-gay policies with images from the Anonymous protest in front of Scientology offices during last week's Toronto Pride, during which Scientology members threatened protesters with physical violence. Anonymous plans on bringing hate crimes charges against the cult, which says that gay people must be "removed from society quietly and without sorrow".

Travolta Comes Out (Against Psychiatry)

Well, I guess I spoke too soon about John Travolta keeping his crazy to himself. Speaking to W Magazine about the Virgina Tech shootings, Travolta says, "I still think that if you analyze most of the school shootings, it is not gun control. It is [psychotropic] drugs at the bottom of it." You may recall Tom Cruise's famous anti-psychiatry diatribe during his interview with Matt Lauer. Travolta: "I don't disagree with anything Tom says. How would I have presented it? Maybe differently than how he did, but it doesn't matter."

And another Scientologist belly-flops into the Crazy Pool.

Hairspray Boycott Gains Visibility

In a story picked up by today's NY Daily News, Washington Blade editor Kevin Naff is joining the chorus of critics calling for a boycott of the new movie version of John Water's Hairspray, charging that star John Travolta's faith, Scientology, is homophobic. I haven't mentioned the boycott previously, because I didn't think much would come of it, but the story has gained a lot of traction in the last couple of days, with coverage yesterday in the Huffington Post and on Hollywood.com.

The Daily News contacted the New York Scientology headquarters to request their position on homosexuality, and were told, "Scientology doesn't try to tell people what their sexual orientation should be. The emphasis is on helping people survive better in the world. If a person comes into Scientology and they are involved in doing anything that they consider detrimental to their survival, then they can change that compulsion." Yeah, compulsion, that's the word for it.

I'm a bit torn on this. Travolta has never uttered an anti-gay peep, as far as I know. And while I can guarandamntee you that I will never again view a Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise movie, that's because they opened their big yaps to spout their batshit philosophies. For the moment, I'm happy to let Travolta be privately crazy, without it affecting my attendance of his movies. However, I'm also ready to spin on my heel and go the other way, should Travolta's private crazy go public.
.

Show Him The Money

And moving to News Of The Deranged, Tom Cruise is coming to Manhattan next week to host a $100,000 per table fundraiser to benefit a Scientology "New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project", which claims to be able to detoxify cops, firefighters and rescue workers who were exposed to poisons during the World Trade Center rescue. Crazy, right? Even crazier, this bullshit hocus-pocus act has been given hundreds of thousands of dollars by the city, even though experts call the project "medical mumbo-jumbo". Some rescue workers are onboard for the procedure, which involves large doses of niacin and sitting in a sauna for up to five hours, which doctors warn can be very dangerous.