"Ex-Gay" Teen Tells Tyra: Exorcism Works

Back in March we learned of the church in Connecticut that had posted YouTube clips of its bizarre "homosexuality exorcism" rituals. It took a few months, but eventually the mainstream media picked up on the story, prompting Connecticut to investigate the church for abusing children. This week the 16 year-old focus of the inquiry, who was seen flopping around on the floor as church members screamed at him, appeared on Tyra Banks' show to claim that the exorcism worked and he is no longer gay. Via Rod McCullom:

"Jeffrey" tells Tyra: "I am healed by the power and authority of the Holy Spirit that came into me that day .. and removed the unclean spirit from me. Because I do not want to live the homosexual lifestyle. I have nothing against them if they want to live that way but they have a choice to serve ... the Lord." The teen says that he has been struggling" with his "sexuality since [he] was five years old" and adds that in his teens he began to "cross-dress" and wear women's clothing. The teen also defends Patricia McKinney, the self-proclaimed "prophet" and pastor of Manifested Glory Ministries in Bridgeport, and explains the convulsions and vomiting seen on tape: "That is the unclean spirit moving ... out of our body. It tends to shake and move in ways that are not natural." The boy appears unsure of himself and coached. He is also concealing his identity and wearing a "beard". (It probably won't be the last time, either.)

Levi Johnston Talks To Tyra

Rocket scientist Levi Johnston, the former would-be son-in-law of Sarah Palin appeared on Tyra Banks' show today to say that he and Bristol absolutely had safe sex all the time. Except for all those times when, you know, they didn't. And that they knocked boots in the Palin home with Sarah's knowledge.

Chaos At Manhattan ANTM Audition

Pandemonium, chaos, rioting, whatever you want to call it - that was the scene yesterday outside the America's Next Top Model auditions at CW Studios in Manhattan. After thousands of women began pressing early arrivals against the walls and barricades, a nearby car started smoking and a couple of idiots apparently thought they could thin the crowd by shouting, "There's a bomb!"

Screaming as they ran for their lives, hundreds of hotties in heels toppled over barricades along W. 55th St. after several people in the crowd started yelling, "There's a bomb!" By the time the model madness ended, two women were hospitalized and two others and one man were busted for inciting a riot, authorities said. "The girls were running like it was 9/11 part two," said Jennifer Brown, 27, of Kensington, Brooklyn. "I feared for my life." The audition for the The CW show, which for the first time was open to women under 5-feet-7, was doomed from the start, several said.

Scores of aspiring models slept overnight outside the Park Central Hotel, hoping to be the first to sashay before the hit show's casting agents. But shortly after the sun rose, women began arriving and lining up indiscriminately. Tensions quickly boiled over. Things only got worse when the dolled-up ladies were told if they stepped out of the line, they couldn't come back in. "I had to pee in a cup and change my clothes in the street," said Mona Knight, 18, of the Bronx, who slept on the street. "There was no organization whatsoever." Cops arrived and placed barricades along the street. But by that point, there were already several thousand women lined up. A handful of women started fainting after getting pressed up against the wall, witnesses said.

It's a ridiculous story, no matter how you look at it, but the video is pretty scary. Police report that once the chaos started, some men in the crowd started snatching purses.

Tyra's "I Hate Being Gay" Show

Yesterday Tyra Banks hosted a handful of homo sad sacks on her show where the subjects derided their fellow gays for being effeminate, disgusting, weak, terrifying, shameful, preying pedophiles. The first dumbo plans to be straight by the time he's 30. So he says in his upspeaking valley girl voice. He's also grossed out by dicks that don't look exactly like his and is apparently a selfish lay. But hey, he's giving himself another eleven years to kick it with the homos before he becomes a real man.

Let's all thank Tyra Banks for finding these seriously damaged young men and giving the wingnuts around the nation a collective "I knew it!" moment.

No Strange For A Piece Of Change

It's not the bit I mentioned yesterday, but here's a clip from Tyra Banks "gay for pay" episode in which a completely heterosexual gay porn star claims he only does it for the money. His bisexual girlfriend isn't so sure.

Quote Of The Day

"We don't do this just for the money. We do it to entertain gay men and keep them out of the clubs and away from drugs and from having unsafe sex." - Some idiot porn "star" on Tyra Banks' "gay for pay" episode today.

Yeaaaaaah. That's why they do it.

UPDATE: Check out this hilarious liveblog (NSFW) of the episode.